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001 - If Architects Had to Work Like Software Developers We
love our customers. We really do. They put food on our table and a roof over
our heads. Without them, we would be nowhere. Nevertheless, this is a field
which is still relatively new to John Q. Public, and so we often get requests
in our work that our clients may see as totally reasonable but that we deem
near impossible, at least while remaining within the constraints of time and
budget. And so, it was with some chuckles that I read the following missive
from my good friend Wade Wells. The original author, however, must remain
anonymous (since we have no idea who he or she is!). "Alice"
wrote me the following after she read this: "Thank you for posting 001.
If Architects Had to Work Like Software Developers. Laughing about my current
situation made today bearable. I can go to the gallows with a smile knowing
that other people working for non-techs have experienced the same feelings." IF
ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS
Dear
Architect:
Please
design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should
use your discretion.
My
house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the
plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you
bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want.
Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily
pick one.
Keep
in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am
currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies
that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk
across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As
you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs
as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features
like aluminum, vinyl or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum,
be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please
take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in
construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date
ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that the kitchen should be designed
to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To
ensure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make
certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law
will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since
she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these
options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right
to overrule any choices that you make.
Please
don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall
plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is
not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind
that my wife likes blue.
Also,
do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house
itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications.
Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under
roof within 48 hours.
While
you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner
or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have
appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you
finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area
that they like the features this house has.
I advise
you to run up and look at my neighbor's house that he constructed last year.
We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our
new home, particularly the 25 meter swimming pool. With careful engineering,
I believe that you can design this into our new home without impacting the
final cost.
Please
prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to
do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be
advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction
costs as a result of later design changes.
You
must be thrilled to be working on as interesting a project as this one!
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